Apple assembled the videos in this post. I never request that Apple create videos for me, but I'm always glad to find them on my phone. Watching the videos is always cathartic as they allow a bevy of feelings to flow. They make me miss Chip like hell, but they are invaluable to me on my grief journey.
The first one was titled "Portraits 2020" by Apple. The year straddled life with Chip and without Chip so, of course, it contained portraits with and without Chip. Watching each video, I recalled vividly the feelings I was having in each of the "portraits." The photo in the video that stuck out most to me was seeing how sad I was leaning into Sam at Chip's 40-day Memorial service at Mt. Cuba. I remembered feeling joy while on a short trip to Cape May with Calli, Eva, Stella and Sam after the 40-day memorial. I was surprised on that trip that I could still feel happy despite the pain of losing Chip.
There were selfies in the montage taken after just having my hair done, and I remembered how excited I felt for Chip's compliments about how my hair looked. I recalled him calling me "Miss Pin Curl" while I was going through my pin curl "phase" during the weeks of lockdown before his passing (Pin curling my hair seemed like as good an idea as any during the strange days of the first 6 weeks or so of lockdown). Seeing my hair pin curled forced the memory to the surface of me nervously yanking all the bobby pins from my hair before following the ambulance to Inova Hospital after Chip was taken from our home to the ER on that horrible evening.
The second and third videos were assembled from photos taken on two random days in my life with Chip, June 1, 2019 and September 22, 2019, during our trips to San Francisco and Wilmington in our "Year of Travel." Seeing his smiling face, knowing full well he was likely in some kind of pain or discomfort or having to deal with some outcome of cancer treatment or cancer itself, reminded me of how much a loved him for the fighter that he was.
The last video, created for me by Apple this past Sunday (I have no idea why Apple decided to send it to me on July 11, 2021). Apple titled the video "Chip 2020." I hesitated until last night to open it. I wasn't sure I wanted to see what Apple thought about Chip in the year 2020. I wasn't sure I could watch a video of the year that his health declined significantly and that his life ended. But, in the end, the part of my soul that will forever be linked with his pulled at me to remember him. I watched it with love in my heart and countless other emotions swirling around in my mind with each photo that passed before my eyes.
My Darling, I miss your laugh and your smile. I miss dancing with you in the kitchen. I miss your embrace and your soft kisses. I miss our adventuring. I miss your nature and your essence. Everlasting be your memory.
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